Of Crossing Lines and Changing Minds
by HoneyLake
Summary: In which James asks Lily out... only once.


**A/N: **This is a one-shot, based off a challenge given by tumblr user **october31st1981. **The challenge was to have James ask Lily out only once, during the scene by the lake in 'Snape's Worst Memory.' This is what I believe might've happened, had that been the only time (which it actually could have been, considering we have no statement proving otherwise).

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Thanks to **CokeBottleK **for all her help on this chapter and to **october31st1981 **for the challenge!

* * *

**Of Crossing Lines and Changing Minds**

* * *

**First Year**

James Potter could feel several pairs of eyes watch him as he neared the Slytherin table. It was the farthest away from the Gryffindor table – for obvious reasons – and it was a rare occasion that anyone traveled from one to the other, especially a first year. But James was determined to keep his stride confident, making sure his smile never wavered. The small vile of pink liquid was hidden up his sleeve. It took the boys nearly a week to steal all the ingredients and make the potion, but James knew it would be worth it in the end.

As he approached the table, Severus Snape narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Throughout the past few weeks, he and Snape – who James had taken to fondly calling 'Snivellus' – had gotten into several altercations, so James wasn't surprised to see the other boy's expression.

Snape was sitting with his friends. They were all purebloods, from prominent families that James had loathed growing up with. While _Snivellus _wasn't his target, James knew he'd come in handy. He made sure to stride past Snape just enough to stand between him and Lucius Malfoy, who was sitting nearby.

James smiled pleasantly, aware that, with every past second, more eyes settled on the Slytherin table. He looked at Snape expectantly and, as suspected, the Slytherin took the bait. "What do you want, Potter?" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Since when is it wrong for a bloke to say hi to his old friend?" James replied, loud enough for the quieting hall to hear.

Snape's jaw clenched, but he didn't respond. As the two boys stared at each other, James sighed loudly. "Alright, I give up. I came over here to talk about your pretty redheaded friend."

Every eye turned to Lily Evans and the blush that crept onto her face almost matched her fiery hair. She pursed her lips, but kept her head held confidently.

James gave in to the smug grin threatening his lips at the angry flash in Snape's eyes. "What about her?" Snape asked.

He pretended to think. He only had one chance of getting this right without being caught by a table full of angry Slytherins, ready to hex off his body parts. "Well, is she your girlfriend? She's fit."

In reality, James hadn't given the girl or her looks much thought, but it was obvious Snape did. James didn't understand why. He had much more fun pulling pranks with the lads and staying up late eating chocolate frogs than spending time with girls like Lily Evans.

"No," Snape said.

"No, what?" James pressed. "No, she's not your girlfriend? Or, no, you don't think she's fit?"

"No, she's not my girlfriend."

James perked up. "But you think she's good-looking, then?" He made sure to say loudly.

Next to them, Lucius rolled his eyes and turned his back on the scene at the same moment Snape grabbed the front of James' robes and pulled him forward. James' back hit Lucius, who was sent forward, whipping around angrily. Seeing that James and Snape had resorted to fighting, many of the professors stood from their seats to intervene. Quietly, Dumbledore put his hand up, stopping them. A Gryffindor hadn't approached the Slytherin table like this for years and, in the minds of other students, James Potter was making history.

"You stay away from her," Snape growled.

James pushed him up and straightened his tie. He glanced at Lily before he continued, loud enough for the hall to hear, "On second thought, she's not too fit."

Back at the Gryffindor table, Lily's eyes flashed angrily as students shifted their eyes towards her again, some of them even laughing. Turning on his heel quickly, James walked back to the table and sat down nonchalantly. Sirius and Peter laughed, Remus bit his lip thoughtfully, and the hall slowly gained its conversation back.

"Did you do it?" Sirius asked, leaning in eagerly.

James nodded. "When Snape pulled me down, I knocked into Malfoy and was able to slip it in his drink then."

"Brilliant." Sirius grinned hungrily and turned back towards the Slytherin table to watch the show. Gradually, Lucius Malfoy's hair turned from his normal platinum blond to a bright red and shining gold. A Slytherin girl next to him said something to Malfoy, while students pointed and laughed.

Malfoy picked up his spoon and examined his distorted reflection. Clenching his jaw, he moved from his seat and pulled his wand. "POTTER!" He yelled, walking swiftly towards the Gryffindor table.

James quickly stood himself and pulled his own wand, while his friends did the same. Though the sight of Malfoy was hilarious – James was never too fond of the bloke growing up – he wasn't daft enough to know he could take on a seventh year, even with Sirius, Remus, and Peter behind him.

"Enough!" While he didn't speak loudly, Dumbledore's voice rang out through the Great Hall. Malfoy stopped and looked at him.

"But, Headmaster –" he protested.

"Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore interrupted, talking pleasantly as if two of his students had not intended a fight. "I'm sure Madam Pomphrey has something in the Hospital Wing to help you."

Gritting his teeth, Malfoy swiftly walked from the Great Hall, glaring at James as he went. James grinned, only to turn around and find Dumbledore looking at him. "Mr. Potter, if you will come with me," he said.

James nodded swiftly and followed Dumbledore to his office. While this hadn't turned out exactly how he'd planned, he figured he could use the inevitable detention to his advantage. He looked back at the students before the door closed behind him

He winked.

* * *

**Second Year**

"Where's your friend?" James asked Lily. They were standing in the back stacks of the library which held the dustiest books. Though they ignored each other for the most part, Lily couldn't help but turn to James after he sneezed for the fifteenth time. Instead of responding to her reminder that "shh… this is a library," James had inquired about Severus Snape.

Lily's answer was terse. "He's in the hospital wing, if you must know."

"Still?" James said incredulously.

"_Someone _turned his gillyroot into bubotuber pus after he put it in his potion, causing it to explode in his face and _burn _him," she defended. "What did you expect would happen?"

James rolled his eyes. "Snivellus is exaggerating. It wasn't that horrible."

"It was! And don't call him that."

James sighed. "Whatever." He turned away and grabbed a book from the shelf.

"_Creatures At Nightfall?" _Lily read the cover from over his shoulder. "What could _you _possibly want with _that?_ We don't learn about magical creatures until next year."

James shrugged. "Nothing."

She reached out a hand to wipe the dust off the rest of the books he was holding, coughing as she did so. "_Complex Transfiguration; The Inner Self; A Beast's Rite of Passage? _These are all really advanced books. What are you doing with them, Potter?"

"Nothing," he repeated.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why is it that, every time we talk, I get the feeling you're lying to me?"

"Because he is," Sirius said, coming up from behind the stack next to James and Lily. He was holding _The Process of Change _in his arms.

Both Lily and James looked at Sirius disbelievingly, but the latter just shrugged. "I mean, _obviously_ these books are for _something. _Otherwise, why would he be checking them out?"

"Well, then, what are they for?"

Sirius grinned. "Light reading."

"You're still lying!"

"We get bored in detention."

"I'll go tell Madam Pince!"

James laughed. "You're going to tell the _librarian – _whose first year it is at Hogwarts, I might add – that two students are looking at books in an attempt to try and get us landed in detention? Yeah, good luck with that."

Lily crossed her arms. "Well, you're up to something!"

"Try proving it!" Sirius said and, at that moment, Remus and Peter walked around the corner, holding even more books.

"Proving what?" Peter asked before he and Remus could greet Lily.

"Lily thinks we're up to something," James explained, trying to ignore the way Remus' face turned red.

"I _know _you're up to something! Remus, you seem nice –"

"Thank you," he responded.

"–so aren't you going to do anything about them?" Lily finished, jerking her thumb in the direction of James and Sirius.

Remus stuck the hand not holding books in his pocket. "Er –I don't know… I mean, they aren't really doing anything, are they?"

"You are all _impossible!_" she said before grabbing a book from the shelf and storming away angrily.

Sirius shook his head. "Mad, that one."

"Yeah…" James replied slowly, though he couldn't help but smile at the butterfly hairclip Lily had used to pull her shoulder-length hair out of her face.

* * *

**Third Year**

James was changing.

He knew this because the Muggle poster of the swimsuit-clad model Sirius had bought to piss off his parents had suddenly become the object of James' attention before bed. More than once had he pulled back his curtains just enough to see the poster and have a nice wank.

He couldn't help but flog the log every day, sometimes even more than that. It had become a part of his daily routine and, while all the lads knew why their showers were suddenly taking longer than the year before, no one mentioned it.

The girls of Hogwarts had become more important and James found himself wishing that the robes were a bit tighter fitting. Sirius had landed himself a girlfriend the week before and had reported back that he felt tit through shirt. James reminded him it didn't really count if it wasn't tit to skin and then abruptly remembered the Charms assignment he hadn't completed once Sirius wondered aloud how James would know that, considering he'd never had a girlfriend.

"Potter, you're crushing that rat spleen," came a voice from next to him and James jumped from his reverie. Sure enough, once he looked down, the only rat spleen he had to help Lily make the Shrinking Solution was broken in half, blood running down the sides of his hands.

James made a noise of distaste before pulling out his wand to wave away the mess. He leaned back on the table, putting his hands behind his head. "Well, looks like we'll have to miss out on this one. Sorry, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes, reaching in her bag to pull out an extra spleen wrapped in foil. She thrust it at him and James looked annoyed. "You're the only person in this class who would buy extra ingredients for this shitty potion."

She stirred the potion clockwise, not bothering to look at James as she spoke. "Once I found out I would have to spend the semester with you and your foul mouth, I decided I best pick up a few more things. Without me, you'd be failing."

James pointed at her. "I'm not sure what that means. Is it sort of like what's happening with you in Transfiguration?"

"Just because my teapot still had a shell does _not _mean I'm failing," Lily replied tersely. "Some of us haven't been able to practice magic our entire lives by stealing wands from our parents."

It was James' turn to roll his eyes. He had ditched the spleen and was shooting small red and gold sparks from the tip of his wand. "Come off it, Evans," he said. "We both know that has nothing to do with magical talent. You learned you're a witch two years ago and you're brilliant at Charms!"

Lily opened her mouth, prepared for a retort, when she realized exactly what James had said to her. "Well – yes – thank you, James."

He smirked. "It's the truth."

Lily went back to stirring, adding in the spleen, which sizzled and caused a purple smoke to rise into the air. She smiled appreciatively at her work and James watched her. Before this year, he hadn't paid her much thought unless she stood in the way of his laughs on Snivellus.

Now, he noticed the small swell at the chest of her robes and how her hair hung over her shoulders in ringlets. She wore small pearl earrings and a Muggle charm bracelet that sparkled in the light. Her eyes were a bright green that he had noticed before, but never really _saw._ Not like this, anyway. He felt invincible, looking into those eyes.

"What are you looking at?" she asked him, sending a puzzled look his way.

"Nothing," he replied a bit too quickly. "Are you sure you didn't put the leech juice in too soon?"

"Did you even read the assignment? It's supposed to turn pink." She pointed inside the cauldron. "It's pink."

James peeked inside before saying, "Looks more like a peach color to me."

"Says the boy whose shoes are blue."

"They are not," James said, looking down at his feet in disbelief. "These are black."

"Whatever you say."

"They're just an… off-black."

Lily laughed. "You sound like a bloody twit," she muttered.

"And you say _I _have a foul mouth. I should wash your mouth with soap!" At her look, he continued, his confidence waning. "Isn't that what Muggles do?"

"Where did you learn that?"

"Muggle Studies," he said. "You must've been ill that day."

"Seems so." She tossed him the stirrer before mimicking his posture against the table. "Your turn."

James snuck one more glance at her before picking up where she left off. He thought of Sirius and his girlfriend. He could still see the swell in her robes, but he didn't focus much on that before looking back at her eyes. Maybe she could be his girlfriend. She certainly was fit enough. And he had fun with her, when she wasn't trying to hex him away from Snivellus, that is.

"So," he started tentatively. "What are you doing for this Hogsmeade weekend?"

Surprised, Lily shrugged. "I don't know. Probably getting more potion ingredients, seeing as you keep smashing ours."

He forced a laugh, nervous. He could feel his hand grow sweaty against the stirring stick and he wiped it on his robes quickly. "I was just wondering –"

But Lily continued at the same time. "I think I –" James motioned for her to speak first. "Well, Severus and I were talking about going to see the Shrieking Shack. I heard it's haunted, you know."

"It is?" he replied automatically. _Severus, _she had said. Of course, Snivellus had gotten to her first. It had been clear to James, even in first year when he used Lily for his jokes expense. There was no way she'd go out with him, not after the pranks he's pulled on her friend. If they weren't more by now, that is.

"You could always head to the Apothecary," he went on. "They sell oil there. You know, just in case Snivellus needs some extra grease for his hair."

"You're a wanker, James Potter."

He gave a smile, though he felt his heart sink low in his stomach. "Language, Evans."

* * *

**Fourth Year**

Today was the day.

James took a deep breath, watching Lily a couple of yards from where she stood. The tree he hid behind obscured him from view, but he could see her clearly from where she stood with Lauren Brown. It was odd to see them together. Lauren was a year below him and Lily, but she was pretty and thin so was invited to the Fourth Year parties, anyway.

Still, Lauren didn't seem like the kind of girl Lily would want to hang out with. While Lily studied Charms, Lauren studied blokes. When Lily rolled her eyes at James' pathetic attempts to make her laugh, Lauren giggled and playfully hit his arm. The two didn't seem to mesh well, yet here they were, standing together and talking like they were friends.

James had been standing behind the tree for about ten minutes, waiting for Lauren to leave so he could talk to Lily alone, but the girl hadn't budged. He was getting antsy. Pretty soon, Sirius would come looking for him. He had ditched his friends a while ago, saying he had to do something for Quidditch. It had been his go-to excuse for years and had worked just fine but, now that Sirius made the team, it would only go so far. Sure, James liked the sport much more than his best friend, but the confused looks he got today told him he had to find some new material.

Sighing, he moved his hands to his pockets and stepped from his hiding place. Lily's back was turned to him. She wore her hair in a low ponytail and it was tied with a gold ribbon. The contrast between the ribbon and her hair remind him of Gryffindor and he smiled. Lily didn't see him approach, but Lauren's visible perk and the way she smoothed out her uniform told James that he didn't go unnoticed.

"Hi, James!" Lauren's bubbly voice called out to him when he was a few feet away.

Lily turned then, the confusion on her face evident. When she saw that James was clearly intent on talking to them, her expression darkened. James figured she must still be sore about last week when he lit Snivellus' pants on fire.

"Careful, Lauren," Lily said, though she looked at James. "I'm not carrying a fire extinguisher on me."

"A fire-what?" James asked.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Nevermind."

"Come on, Evans, you can't still be angry with me. Snape was fine!"

"He could have been killed!"

"I apologized."

"No, you didn't."

"I didn't? Well, I meant to."

"No, you didn't," she repeated.

She was right, but he wasn't about to _admit _that. He decided to change his approach. Noticing a small vile of moondew in Lauren's hand, he said, "You're doing an illegal potion exchange without me?"

Lauren giggled. Lily pursed her lips. "If you must know, I've just started tutoring Lauren in potions."

"Sounds fun." And he tried to make it sound sincere.

Lauren spoke quickly. "I wanted to ask you or Sirius, but Slughorn suggested Lily or Severus Snape and there was no wayI was sitting next to _him _for an hour." She lowered her voice. "I heard he doesn't shower! Can you imagine?"

James tried to push back the smirk that was coming to his lips, but he wasn't very successful. "I don't blame you for choosing Lily, then."

Lily's face had turned red and she was biting her lip, a gesture James had come to know as her trying very hard not to yell. "Severus showers," she said pointedly. "_Someone _started that rumor to be mean."

Lauren shrugged. She had obviously not gotten the memo about Lily's friendship with Snape. James wasn't surprised; she wasn't too bright, that one. "Well, still, I'd rather not associate with a Slytherin."

"Isn't that a little judgmental?" Lily asked, turning on the younger girl.

"No, they're all evil! Everyone knows it. Back me up, James."

"Potter –" Lily began as both girls turned towards him. He held his hands up in retreat.

"I didn't come here to talk about Slytherins," he said quickly.

"Well, then, why did you come here?" Lily crossed her arms.

Suddenly, he felt very hot. He ran a hand through his hair as he looked back and forth between the two girls. "Er – I… I just came to ask a question."

Lauren grinned, her eyes bright, while Lily looked at her watch. "It's for you… Li –" He stopped. Lily did not look happy with him. Why did he have to fuck everything up? He turned to the younger girl. "Lauren. Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

James was surprised her head didn't fall off, she was nodding so vigorously. "Yes, I'd love to! I mean, I made plans with my friends, but they'll understand!"

"Er – great! That's great." He struggled with the sincerity this time. "Well, I should get going. The lads are waiting for me."

"Walk me to the common room?" Lauren asked.

"Sure." She continued talking as they turned to walk back to the castle, but James didn't listen. As she said something about Honeydukes, he looked back at Lily quickly. She rolled her eyes again, but she didn't seem so angry. The light in her eyes that James had grown accustomed to over the years seemed a bit dimmer, but she gave him a small smile anyway. He shrugged and turned back around.

Merlin, he was such a pansy.

* * *

**Fifth Year**

Her words rang through his head, over and over again. She had denied him in the worst way possible. In front of everyone, she had told him she would choose the giant squid over him. Why did he really think she'd ever like him the way he liked her?

He knew it was the worst moment to ask her out – with her best friend hanging upside down in front of them – but he couldn't resist. Two years of wanting her to be his girlfriend had made him the biggest prat there was. He couldn't hold it in any longer. She had to know – Snape and everyone else be damned – and he thought that maybe there was a chance that she would actually reciprocate.

But now James felt like an idiot. He could still picture her face when Snape called her that awful word. She was hurt and, with James' confession, probably embarrassed. He could picture her now, holed up in her room, crying to Marlene and Emmeline, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He wished he could take it back. Maybe, if he hadn't asked her out, she would've let him punch Snape's greasy face in. James wanted to be excited that Lily used the Marauders' insulting nickname for the Slytherin, but he couldn't be… not when all he saw was her wounded expression.

Sighing, he sat up in his bed. Though Sirius had wanted to open the bottle of Odgen's James stole from his dad's liquor cabinet over the holiday break, James had feigned a headache and gone to sleep. He had heard his friends follow shortly after, their "fearless" leader not around to tell them what to do. That had been hours ago and still James hadn't fallen asleep.

He reached a hand out to locate his glasses on the nightstand before swinging his blankets off and moving the curtains back. The only light in the room was from the moon outside – waning; the full moon had been a week ago – but James could see the forms of his friends asleep in their beds.

He grabbed his jacket to put over his pajamas and shut the door quietly behind him, heading down to the common room. To his surprise, the fire was burning dimly, and he could make out the form of a red-haired girl sitting on the couch. She was sniffling and, upon realizing it was Lily Evans, James quickly turned around to head back upstairs.

His toe hit the bottom step loudly and he bit his lip to keep from yelling out. Lily turned at the noise, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater. "James?" she said, confused.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself, before facing her. "Lily. Hi."

"Hi," she said. "Couldn't sleep?"

He shook his head. "You either?"

"Not after… well, you know."

He ventured a step towards her. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she said, before sighing and looking down. "No. I don't know. I mean, it's only been a few hours and it still seems like everything's changed."

He clenched his hands, trying not to let his anger for Snivellus show. "He's an idiot, you know."

"Potter…" she warned.

"Ok, I'm sorry. I just – I don't like seeing you like this."

"I don't like feeling like this." He smiled half-heartedly. She patted the seat next to her. "You can sit down, if you want."

He took one look at the stairs before shrugging. "Sure."

He made sure not to sit too close and, for a few minutes, they were silent. As Lily stared into the fire, James stared at her. Her make-up had smeared underneath her bloodshot eyes and there were black smudges on her sweater from where she had quickly wiped her tears away. James wondered what Snape would do, if he knew he had made Lily cry. He probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash, the bastard.

Finally, Lily spoke. "Why did you do that today?"

James rolled his eyes. He wouldn't have sat down had he known they were just going to fight. "He called you – _that – _he deserved –"

"No, not that," she interrupted. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Oh," he replied lamely. "What then?"

"Why did you _ask me out?_"

James heart sank and his eyes widened. "I – I don't know." He couldn't help but panic.

"You don't like me?"

"No."

"So it was just for show then?" Lily asked a mixture of hurt and anger evident in her voice.

"No!" he tried to cover himself. "I just – I thought it would be fun! I think you misunderstood me, though. I meant friends… like, we could go out as friends."

"Just friends?"

"Yep," he lied. "Just friends."

Lily looked into the fire, thinking. "I guess that would be all right."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she said, her face brightening. "Hogsmeade, then?"

James nodded, a grin spreading across his face.

* * *

**Sixth Year**

The smoke swirled in semi-transparent wisps above them. Lily had tried a few times to identify pictures from the smoke, but James told her to stop once her imagination ran wild with 'hippogriff shagging a unicorn.' They were passing the cigarette between them, lying on the ground of the Quidditch pitch, legs sticking opposite from one another and heads close together.

"You think you'll play Quidditch after school?" Lily asked. Gryffindor had won their match to Ravenclaw earlier in the day with James as the lead scorer, as usual.

James shrugged, reaching across Lily to hand her the cigarette. "I used to."

"Why not anymore?"

"Seems shitty, playing a sport while a war goes on, doesn't it?"

Lily took a puff and blew it in his face. He caught it in his mouth before it could hit him and released it above them. Lily laughed. "I don't think so. People need something to cheer for, don't they?"

"How about they cheer for the good side?"

"The Appleby Arrows?" Lily said, referring to James' favorite team.

"No, the Aurors."

"It was a joke," she said, moving her shoulder to bump against his. "Lighten up. We won the game. There's a party going on in the common room."

James sighed and managed to run a hand through his hair even in his lying position. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Is it your dad?"

James nodded and reached for the cigarette. "The healers said he might have more time," she tried, her voice positive.

"They always say that."

After a moment, she replied, "I know something that will cheer you up."

James turned his head, his eyebrows raised. Lily gave a shriek and smacked his arm. "It's nothing sexual! Get your head out of the dungeon, James Potter!"

James shrugged. "You're the one who said it, not me."

"I just meant something like this." Lily picked up her wand from the ground next to her and pointed it up into the air. She whispered a spell and, in an instant, fireworks were lighting up the Quidditch Pitch above them.

James laughed. "This is against the rules, you know."

Lily gave a nonchalant shrug, like being Head Girl didn't matter to her, despite the fact she had been talking about it for months now. "Friends break the rules for each other."

Right. _Friends. _"Thanks." He pointed up. "I think I see a hippogriff shagging a unicorn."

Lily laughed out loud and it was beautiful. "Looks more like a Kneazle to me."

"Look at this one." Lily moved her wand again and the fireworks shifted to create James' name in the air. She stood up and lifted her arms into the air. "James Potter with his famous Potter Post-Out! He swerves to avoid Carson and he shoots! Gryffindor wins! The crowd goes wild!"

Still laughing, James stood up too, flicking the cigarette to the ground and putting it out with his shoe. "You can't end a Quidditch game with a Chaser shot, you know," he said, walking towards her.

Lily shrugged. "Technicality." She reached out her hand and grabbed his, squeezing gently. "Feeling better?"

"I will be if you do me a favor," he said.

"What's that?"

This time, James flicked his wand. He caught the Quaffle that came soaring towards him from the storage room quickly and the two brooms landed on the ground next to he and Lily. "Play with me."

"I'm rubbish."

"With my help, you'll be pulling a Potter Post-Out by the end of the night!"

Lily feigned a gasp. "Do you _know _how difficult that is?" she exclaimed sarcastically, repeating the words she had heard numerous times since she and James declared their friendship.

"I do," James replied solemnly. "But you have a good teacher." He picked up one of the brooms and handed it to her before mounting his own. Together, they kicked from the ground and flew up, the fireworks with James' name still shining in the sky.

After a few minutes of getting settled, Lily shouted out to James. "Ok, I think I'm ready!" she said, tentatively lifting her hands from the broom.

James threw the Quaffle to her, much more softly than he would in a real game. She missed, but he flew down to catch it before it hit the ground. "That's ok," he said reassuringly. "Just cup your hands next time and catch in the grooves. It's easier that way."

Lily nodded and mimicked James instructions. On the second time, she fumbled, but ended up catching it before it went past her broom. She smiled at him and threw it back. Once Lily got used to the Quaffle, they started inching forward, still passing back-and-forth. Slowly, they picked up speed and James threw the Quaffle forward, making it through one of the nearing hoops.

"See," he said, bringing his wand out to fetch the falling Quaffle. "Easy as that."

"Says the bloke who's been playing since before he could walk!"

He shrugged. "Technicality." He threw the Quaffle at her and she caught it easily. "Quick learner, eh, Evans?"

Lily smirked smugly. "Watch this," she said and cranked her arm back to throw the Quaffle through the middle hoop. Surprised, she whooped and flung her hands up in the air. "James! James, did you see that? I made it!"

Laughing, James let the Quaffle fall and moved his broom towards her so they were next to each other, facing one another. "Look up," he said, swishing his wand so the fireworks rearranged. When Lily followed his gaze, she saw her name next to his in lights. She smiled as James continued talking. "Lily Evans with the Potter Post-Out! Not as good as the original, of course, but a close second!"

She smacked his arm. "You prat! I just made a goal – I could do a Potter Post-Out any day."

Rolling his eyes but grinning, James looked back up into the sky. He liked the look of their names next to each other. During nights like this, when it was just the two of them, he couldn't help but think about the time by the lake, wondering if it would be the same if he had asked her out earlier, or if he hadn't lied to her later by the fire.

Lily watched him, biting her lip thoughtfully. After a moment, she flicked her wrist and the fireworks disappeared. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I'm not sure why you're asking," James laughed. "You would, with or without my permission."

"Fair enough. But – well, remember last year down by the lake?" James was surprised. She rarely talked about that day and usually didn't so willingly. It was almost as if she had read his mind. "You were actually asking me out, weren't you?"

He hesitated, his heart beating faster. "Yes," he said, his voice suddenly hoarse.

"You had feelings for me, then?"

"Yes."

Lily paused and they sat in silence for what seemed like a lifetime. "Do you still?"

James looked her in the eyes, desperate. "No."

She reached a hand up slowly, gently cupping his cheek. Rubbing it lightly with her thumb, she said, "Ok."

And then, as if it had never happened, she pushed her broom towards the ground, yelling behind her, "Play Keeper, Potter! I need a challenge!"

* * *

**Seventh Year**

James ran a hand through his hair tiredly as he and Lily walked through the corridors back to the common room. Judging by the fact that they had spent the last three hours in Dumbledore's office, James would say it had been a long night.

Lily was quiet, but he didn't feel much like talking himself. Though he didn't know what time it was, it still felt like only moments before Wilkin's and Borrow's had run to he and Lily to tell them of an incident on the third floor they had found during their rounds. He could still smell the blood and pictured Mary MacDonald, lying on the ground with a pool of it around her head.

James turned left hastily, grabbing Lily's hand to stop her from going straight. Though he was pretty sure that McGonagall had cleared the scene shortly after they left for Dumbledore's office, James was not eager to revisit the spot where they'd found Mary.

"Better go this way," he said. Lily caught on quickly and nodded in agreement. She didn't remove her hand from his.

As they started their walk the long way around the castle, James said darkly, "You know who did that, right?"

"James…" Lily said warningly, but did not deny the accusation.

By the time she and James had gotten to the scene, Mary was unconscious and the perpetrators gone. The prefects said they hadn't seen anyone around, causing James to wonder how long Mary had been lying there. He shuddered as he visualized the picture they had found. It was dripping slightly, giving off a horrible eerily look, but the word **'Mudblood'** was clearly visible on the wall, written in Mary's blood.

What was even worse was the **'You're Next'** that had been scratched into her arm with a Slicing Curse.

At the feeling of him shuddering again, Lily stepped closer to James, giving his hand a squeeze. "At least Madam Pomphrey said she would be fine after a few weeks in the Hospital Wing."

James laughed bitterly. "And some intense therapy."

They fell into silence again and didn't speak until they passed the kitchens, the fruit painting only slightly discernible with the dim lighting in the corridors. "Dumbledore was acting odd back there, wasn't he?" Lily asked.

"Makes sense, with everything that's happened."

"Yeah, but when he told us to strengthen our Patronuses? I don't understand why he'd be talking about studies during a time like this, especially since we haven't practiced those since last year exams."

James shrugged. "Dumbledore's an odd bloke, always has been," he said. "Besides, it's not like I could even conjure a happy thought right now."

Truth be told, James had thought about his and Lily's Patronuses many times since they had first learned that theirs were matching. He had teased her about it at first, saying something about 'Heart's Desire,' but they had never really gotten a chance to talk about it. His dad had died three days after.

"I wonder when word will get out. I'm not looking forward to all the questions."

"Maybe we should skive off classes tomorrow?" James suggested. "You can sneak up into my dormitory once the lads leave and we can be sloshed by noon."

"Sounds like a better plan than double Transfiguration."

"It's a date, then," he said, though he immediately felt awkward at his choice of wording and the two fell quiet once more.

Once they reached the portrait hole and James told the Fat Lady the password, he looked at Lily from the corner of his eye. During the rest of their walk, she had taken to biting her lip and staring at the ground. Normally, he would have asked her what was wrong, but the answer was obvious. Besides, they had both done enough talking for one day and rest was much needed.

He walked her to bottom steps of her dormitory, rubbing his fingers over her hand. He leaned in and kissed her forehead gently. "Night, Lils."

"Goodnight, James."

He turned to leave, but she held onto his hand and pulled him back. "Did you know her? Mary?"

James looked down at the ground, unable to look at her. "Yes," he said quietly. "She asked me out – once. In 4th year. I laughed at her. Didn't even give her an answer." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm such an arse."

"No, you're not," she said. "At least not anymore."

He looked up at her and without warning tears started streaming down her face. James did not hesitate to take another step forward and pull her towards him, wrapping his arms around her waist. Lily buried her head into his chest, her shoulders moving with her sobs. "What are we going to do, James?"

James put a hand in her hair, smoothly it down comfortingly. "Nothing is going to happen to you," he whispered. "I won't let it."

"I'm not worried about me, you twat," she said after the crying subsided a bit. She was able to keep about her normal demeanor, even with her make-up and hair mussed up. "I'm worried about everyone else."

And he knew she really meant it.

"I worry about you," he replied, his voice hoarse. "I can't lose you, Lily."

"I thought James Potter could do anything?" As much as he liked hearing the smile back in her voice, he couldn't grin along. This was something he could not joke about, even if he wanted to.

"Not that."

At his expression, Lily sobered. "You'll never have to."

They looked at each other then. As James' eyes connected with Lily's, he felt his heart beat faster. Subconsciously, he licked his lips. Though he was unsure of who decided, he was suddenly cupping either side of her face and her hands were entangled in his hair. Their lips crashed together and moved fervently, as if this was their last moment together.

He moved his hands back to her waist, trying to pull her impossibly closer and her hands caressed his scalp expertly. The familiar jump underneath his pants made him wonder if this was too much, too fast, but he didn't want to stop. He had wanted this for so long. He had waited for this.

Had waited for her.

Their mouths moved seamlessly and he liked that she tasted of strawberries. They broke apart and he instantly wanted –_ needed_ – more. Breathless, her cheeks reddening, Lily smiled.

"I love you," James told her without thinking. "You know that, right?"

Lily nodded. "I know."

He thought about all those years ago, when he was a first year and had told Severus Snape that she wasn't fit in front of a Great Hall full of students. They had come so far since then and yet he could have a lifetime with her and it wouldn't be enough.

He leaned in once more when Lily spoke again, just inches from his mouth. "I love you, too."

James kissed her.

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**A/N: **Thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please review!


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